You’ve heard of the term “crazy cat lady.”
But are there crazy dog people?
For the love of dog . . .
You love your dog, probably more than the average person does. Actually, he’s pretty much the only thing you talk about to your family and coworkers. You probably even have pictures of your dog in your office just so that people will see them and ask about him. Heck, sometimes you don’t even need an excuse to talk about your dog.
So when do you cross the line between being just a regular dog lover to a full-on crazy dog person?
Dead giveaways of a crazy dog person, do any sound familiar?
We’re pretty crazy about dogs here, and we’re proud of it! Here are some red flags that’ll help you figure out if you’re one of us dog crazy people.
#1 – You Refer to Your Dog as Your “Furbaby”
Your dog is a part of your family, and there’s no rule saying that you must go through pregnancy and labor to be a parent.
Much like human children, dogs are fully dependent on you for your leadership and guidance to navigate their world.
As a “pawrent,” you’ll never have to sit through parent-teacher conferences, PTA meetings, or wait 16 years before your child becomes more independent. The best part? You’ll never have to save up for college.
#2 – You Have More Pictures of Your Dog Than Anything Else
Sure, babies are cute, but how many pictures of sleeping babies can you look at before you start to get bored?
When other people share pictures of their babies, you’re ready to whip out your phone and show them pictures of your dog. Your dog is freakin’ adorable, especially in that Pikachu costume you bought for him last Halloween.
But merely having lots of dog photos on your smartphone can seem so . . . basic these days, and you’re anything but basic. You play the game at a whole ‘nother level. As a true crazy dog person, you probably have an Instagram account just to bless the rest of the world with pictures of his cuteness.
And that blue checkmark next to your username? Been there, done that.
#3 – You Spend More Money on Your Dog Than on Yourself
Dog ownership can cost a lot of money, and Americans aren’t afraid to shell out extraordinary amounts of money to provide their dogs with the best. With an estimated $72.13 billion to be spent on pets in 2018, there aren’t any signs of slowing down anytime soon.
The average American spends $126.19 every month on their pets.
And while some may call that excessive, it’s probably child’s play to you. In fact, you’re not afraid to say that after paying your bills, you spend most of your money on your dog.
After all, she needs her monthly grooming; doggie daycare; massages; monthly flea/tick/heartworm medications; high-quality organic food, treats, and supplements; new toys; clothing; and all the latest cool gadgets like LED harnesses and automatic ball launchers.
There is an endless list of dog things you could spend your money on, and it’s all justified because your furry best friend is worth every penny and then some.
#4 – You Have Dog Fur Everywhere, and That’s Perfectly Okay
As a dog owner, fur is just a part of life. It’s in your car, on your bed, on your clothes, in your hair, in your food – it’s just everywhere.
A lint roller may be a necessity for many dog owners, but some dog crazies just have come to terms with the fact that we’ll never get rid of all the fur. Plus, dog lovers like to look on the bright side: You’re carrying a part of your dog everywhere with you, and what can be bad about that?
#5 – You Prefer to Share Your Bed with Your Dog
Germaphobes will never understand you, but we do.
Your dog’s comfort is a high priority, and what can be more comfortable than being able to stretch out on a big, memory foam mattress?
If you have a large dog or multiple dogs, you may have to sleep in a corner or close to the edge of the bed, but it’s totally worth it just to see your dog(s) dreaming away so contentedly every night.
#6 – You’ve Skipped Out on Outings with Friends for Your Dog
If you’ve ever told your friends, “I can’t go out, my dog needs ________,” then you are probably a crazy dog person.
Friends are awesome, but they’re not your dog. And after a long work week (or every day!) deserve to sit back, relax, cuddle with your dog, and binge watch your favorite show on Netflix.
And weekends? Dog time. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
So go ahead, tell you friends that your dog needs to be walked, bathed, fed, whatever. Your dog won’t mind.
#7 – You Have Smartphone Apps Just for Your Dog
The average person has 70,000 thoughts per day.
Let that sink in for a minute.
With about 1 thought running through your head per second, it’s completely understandable that things get forgotten or put on the backburner.
Thank goodness for smartphones.
Other people may have apps for productivity, social media, or games, but if you’re a crazy dog person, you most likely have at least one app dedicated for your dog’s care. You could even have one just for looking at cute dogs (you know, for break times at work).
If you need ideas for dog apps you can download, take a look at our article on must-have smartphone apps for dog owners.
#8 – You Commissioned a Professional Portrait…of Your Dog
Need we say more?
If commissioning a professional portrait of your dog doesn’t show that you’re a crazy dog person, we don’t know what will.
#9 – Your Vacation Plans Include Your Dog
If there’s one thing we can all agree on 100%, it’s that dogs love adventure. They’re made for it.
So why would anybody leave their dog at a boarding facility while they go on a vacation?
To you, there is no family vacation unless your dog is included.
Sure, the ultra fancy-shmancy hotels may refuse your dog, but the most important thing is that you and your dog will form a stronger bond by going on new adventures.
#10 – You Throw Birthday Parties For Your Dog
If there’s anything negative about owning a dog, it’s that they age after than humans do. But we think that gives you all the more reason to throw elaborate birthday parties for your dog every year.
So put your best party hat on, invite your dog’s doggie friends, shower your dog with gifts, and treat your dog to a birthday cake!
If you adopted your dog and/or you don’t know his birthday, no worries. You can celebrate a “Gotcha Day”!
#11 – You’ve Gotten Used to Spelling Out Words
Dogs may not know English, but they can pick up sounds extremely quickly.
Say the word “park” around most dogs, and they’ll jump excitedly into the nearest car faster than Usain Bolt can run 100 meters. That’s why you’ve gotten used to spelling out things that might trigger such craziness in your dog, such as C-A-R or P-A-R-K.
While the words “car” and “park” might get your dog excited, there are also words that might trigger anxiety and make your dog refuse to cooperate. Especially the dreaded V-E-T.
#12 – The Best Part of Your Day is Going Home to Your Dog
Most people go home after work to eat dinner and relax, but a crazy dog person is looking forward to something else: their dog.
There’s nothing better than the feeling of coming home to someone who’s so happy to see you again, and your dog is always happy to greet you with a wagging tail.
The only thing your dog loves more than herself is you. We think that’s pretty crazy, and that’s why we return the love by being crazy about our dogs.
If you relate to any of the “symptoms” above, you can declare to the world that you’re a crazy dog person (and proud of it)!
Another great read: 10 Tips for Managing Separation Anxiety in Dogs